After Rehab:
5 Ways for Addicts to Cope & Avoid Relapse
The myth suggests that rehab is the hard part for
those struggling with addiction, but the truth
is that life after rehab can be just as awful. In fact, the first few weeks
after rehab are arguably worse for the struggling addict because they have a
lot less support once they’ve left the rehab facility. In other words, for the
addict, life after rehab can be downright terrifying.
For newly recovering addicts, there are several
things they can do to reduce the likelihood of relapse and their overall
anxiety, as well.
1. Get a sponsor.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you need to
join Alcoholics Anonymous or another twelve-step group to have a sponsor. If
you don’t want to join a twelve-step group, ask a trusted friend to be your
sponsor, someone you can call when you’re overwhelmed. Having a sponsor is a
crucial, time-tested part of successful recovery.
2. Always remember HALT.
One of the most helpful tools for recovering
addicts is a neat and simple acronym: H (Hungry), A (Angry), L (Lonely), T
(Tired). Research—and first-hand accounts of thousands of addicts—tell us that
you’re more likely to relapse if you experience any of these strong feelings.
Be careful and make sure to take care of yourself so that these unchecked
feelings don’t wreak continued havoc on your life! Get your rest, eat well,
surround yourself with positive people, and express your anger in the right places: your journal, therapy, or artistic
outlets.
3. Find purpose.
One of the best ways to ensure a successful
recovery is to make sure that you’re clear on your sense of purpose—and I’m not
just talking about returning to your job to pay the bills after rehab has
drained your bank account. I’m talking about making sure that your life has
meaning in several domains: cultivating friendships full of nurturance and
support, volunteering for organizations that serve others who are less
fortunate, and even writing about your story—in a journal, a blog post, or even
planting the seeds to write your very first book!
4. Rediscover childhood fun.
Consistently, I find in my work with addicts that
their addictions took over so much of their lives that they stopped doing some
very simple and basic activities that once brought them peace and joy—and
people need joy like SARS needs tax returns. My advice is simple in this
department: Figure out what you have fun doing—and a return to addictive
behavior doesn't count—and pursue those activities in a disciplined way (e.g.,
twice per week or more frequently). Examples: dancing, uncommon exercises
(kick-boxing class, Pilates), and creative pursuits either at home or in a
class at a local community college (drawing, painting, sculpting). We did this
stuff as kids, so why did we ever stop?
5. Work on your relationships.
It’s impossible to be an addict without
simultaneously damaging some of your closest relationships. Yes, it’s hard to
be the addict, but it’s no easier to be the loved one of the addict. After
rehab, you must start to do the work to improve your relationships that have
suffered because of your historic loyalty to the addiction—and your loved ones
know too well that you put your addiction first. Start having conversations
with your loved ones about their feelings and apologize for the fact that your
problems caused problems for them, too. Give them a chance to tell you how
they’ve felt as they witnessed your downward spiral, and reassure them that you
are now making an honest commitment to change. If you get feedback that is
painful or hard to hear, call your new sponsor who can give you some
perspective on the situation.
Bottom line: Life after rehab is incredibly
challenging. However, people successfully work on their recovery every single
day, and you, too, can become a success story as long as you do the work and
follow some of the steps I’ve outlined above.
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